There are so many things that get in between us and the life we want, the project about which we care the most, the income we deserve, the you-name-it. I mean, sheesh, there are so many circumstances that make it nearly impossible to put ourselves out there. So. Many. Roadblocks.
Wait, what? No, none of that is true.
THERE ARE NO (real) ROADBLOCKS.
Are you nodding in agreement? Is your head cocked to the side, ummm, what? Are you saying damn you, Marielle, MY very particular roadblocks are REAL?!
Roadblocks seem to be external factors out of our control, but they are, in fact, resistance we fabricate, usually unconsciously. And they’re so powerful, convincing, sneaky that we believe in them. I’m pretty sure this happens to everyone. It happens to me, I can say that. It happens to my coaching clients. It happens to famous people, pretty people, brilliant people. I don’t think it happens to Oona, but we can’t all be Oona.
These roadblocks generally pop up when we are pushing ourselves into new territory. New territory can be scary. If into the equation, we add new territory that has meaning and is close to our hearts, well, that’s double scary. And then, what about new territory that clashes with long held beliefs, BOOM, a trifecta of impossible.
Um. no. not impossible.
The bigger and the brighter our soul-calling shine, the longer and darker the shadow. Resistance is our smallness. Some believe resistance is an evil assh*ole. I believe it’s a misguided ninny that’s trying to keep us safe. I believe it’s working from a set of outdated blueprints that have nothing to do with our current life. You can’t build the life you want with blueprints designed to build a dank yet cozy underground bunker.
I had a coaching client say to me,
“ I feel like I will die if I don’t write this book. And, I feel like I’ll die if I do.”
I’ve never heard a more concise and clear example of a powerful soul-calling and the equal and opposite pushback of resistance.
So, what to do?
We need strategies. And sometimes help. And sometimes support.
Step 1 - identify the obvious forms of resistance
Step 2 - identify the very tricky resistance you would never identify as resistance
Step 3 - develop strategies that keep you moving, dodging, ducking and weaving right past all those roadblocks (this part, in particular, usually requires some help, but not always)
My top 3 forms of resistance are perfectionism, distractibility in it’s many forms, and indecision. I have a f*ckton more, but these are my Allstars. My modes of resistance that are the most intense and work to convince me that I should curl into a ball of despair are migraines and intense fatigue. The pain is real. The challenge and frustration and struggle are all real. And, to give in to them would be to choose smallness, to choose the cozy dank bunker that has my ass-print indented into every soft surface, to choose a stunted version of me.
Here’s a little story :
When I was doing 100 Days of Vidi-Ditties, one particular day, I’d struggled all day with a building migraine. It was the end of the day and the light was fading, so, I didn’t have time! I was in a bad mood for various reasons, real reasons! It was windy outside and I hate wind. I was visiting someone else’s house, so I didn’t have any private space; the only place I could figure out to make my video was out on a small deck off the bedroom, ugh! I looked at Eamonn before I carried my tripod out onto the deck and said with the saddest face ever, “ I don’t want to make a f*cking vidi-ditty today.” That’s a lot of seemingly real, valid, sad roadblocks.
And then, I opened the sliding glass door and crossed over the threshold, literally and figuratively, into doing. I showed up. Out of 150 ditties, that was the day I made my favorite ditty.
What was more important than making a favorite ditty was that I felt better. I connected to my essential self, the self that is truly, undeniably, powerfully and playfully me.
Show up and Play.
This is why I offer 45 Days of Creative Mojo. It’s 45 Days of guided Show Up and Play within a supportive group of fellow mojo-makers.
A super awesome bonus, I’m offering in the course this year, is that we will spend part of the initial live group-call staring resistance down, defining it, sniffing out the sneaky buggers, developing strategies, and getting our mojo workin.
Are there things in your life where you feel a rumble, a soul-calling whose voice may be getting a little hoarse? Is it resistance? The Magic 8 Ball says, it is decidedly so.
Let me know if I can help. I’ve been there. I know the terrain.